Our good habits are like rocket fuel that fill our tanks and propel us forward. Our bad habits are like giant anchors that weigh us down. Successful people build great habits to move forward and they destroy bad habits that hold them back. Do these two things together and you’ll become unstoppable.
In this blog post I want to talk about one of the most insidious anchors that holds most people back. It’s a bad habit that is very damaging, yet it’s insidious because most people don’t realize it’s a bad habit and, worse yet, it actually has the disguise of being a good habit!
When something bad happens, what do you do? Most people seek out the cause of the problem and name it.
This sounds like a great idea… like a positive approach. But it’s not. It’s a bad habit of BLAME.
We live in a society that wants to blame others. I saw this most acutely during the economic meltdown of 2007 and 2008: Some people blamed the government for allowing it to happen; governments blamed the banks for making bad loans; the 99% blamed the 1%; when businesses failed, people blamed the economy… and it went on and on.
It’s true that there were many factors that led to the problem. But that time period illustrated a larger and more pervasive problem: We’ve become a society that seeks to deflect personal responsibility and instead lay the blame elsewhere. It feels better to be the innocent party who was wronged by someone else than to be part of the problem. Here’s a fact: We are always part of the problem.
Expunge blame from your mind and your vocabulary! Stop trying to deflect problems and challenges you face to external circumstances or other people. Yes, they may be a contributing factor but you are part of the situation and you always have an opportunity to think and act differently, thus creating a different outcome.
Instead of blame, learn from the situation and accept responsibility for the part you played (because very VERY rarely are we the truly innocent party in a situation). Instead of blame, seek to take an active role in correcting the situation (even when you are the truly innocent part, you can still take an active role in correcting the situation and in preventing it from happening again).
Destroying blame doesn’t excuse other people for the role they play in a difficult situation but it does make you into a true CEO Warrior – someone who accepts responsibility and learns from every situation and strives to become better with each passing day.
Here’s a challenge for you: Watch what you think, say, and write on social media. Check your thoughts to make sure you’re not blaming someone else or something else for a difficult situation you’re facing. When you’re tempted to deflect responsibility, STOP. Accept responsibility (even if that doesn’t seem fair to you) and think about how you can actively resolve the problem.
Learn more about communicating proactively and positively, and with power, in my book Secrets Of Communication Mastery.
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P.S.S. – Michael believes the proof is in what’s happening. Warrior Fast Track Academy Testimonial.